Thankful for Grace

Today I'm thankful for grace. The grace of my husband. He got up at some crazy hour in the morning, went to the gym, came home and prepared a meal for the slow cooker so I wouldn't have to make dinner on a busy day, all before the rest of us were out of bed. My job? Simple. Turn it on before I left for work. I remember thinking, wouldn't it be awful if I forgot? I'd have to rush home during my lunch break to turn it on (to which Joel later reminded me that raw chicken sitting out for 5 hours wouldn't really be in the "ready to cook" state).

Anyways, you all know where this story is going. I picked up the boys and headed home, excited to have dinner ready. Joel lifted the lid on the slow cooker to discover it had never been turned on. I immediately felt like an idiot. All of his hard work and a pile of raw food to show for it. He didn't get upset. He didn't make me feel stupid. I didn't even get the "I'm actually upset but trying really hard not to make you feel bad" vibe. Instead he just got to work, whipping up a quick dinner for the boys and declaring his excitement about ordering pizza later on. Despite how amazing he was, I admit I still shed a few tears. I know, it's silly, but I hate disappointing people and I felt so bad.

Tonight my husband was the perfect picture of grace and I'm thankful I get to do life with him. Next time someone messes up, I only hope I can have the same reaction.

Happy Africa Day

I do want to blog. I really do. But life is busy these days and it hasn't been a priority in any free time I have. Lots of topics in my head though and they'll come out, probably more consistently in the summer. Thanks for hanging in.

But I quickly wanted to acknowledge Africa Day which is today. I admit I didn't even know about it until someone posted it on Facebook. Apparently it's a holiday in Zimbabwe, but I don't remember it. Those of you who know me well know that Africa has played a big role in my life. I've actually started writing out my "Africa Story" and will post it eventually. The last time I was there was late 2007 which is way too long. Before that I had made five trips in seven years so it's definitely time. But twin toddlers and life doesn't make it easy at the moment. In the mean time I'll just keep dreaming and praying and hopefully sooner than later I'll be back.

Mother's Day

I am so thankful and humbled in my role as a mom. It's a little scary having two lives you're responsible for, but it's an adventure and a fun one (mostly!). I have to say I am absolutely loving this stage. The boys will be 2 in a few weeks and they are highly entertaining these days. Watching them makes me wish I was a twin. It's such a fun way to grow up. Lately they've been pulling their high chairs together while eating so they can share food and interact. The other day they were hitting each other over the head in a playful way and then sending each other to the corner and laughing hysterically. Perhaps they were mocking our discipline but Joel and I had to laugh. And the other day when I was changing Micah's diaper he looked up at me and said, "You're SO cute!" He must hear that a lot. Their personalities are shining through and I am trying to take in all the little moments. In some ways there are so different but they are definitely best friends.

Yesterday we did our usual Sunday routine...mommy sleeps in, off to church, and our weekly family trip to No Frills. Being a special day we got some Swiss Chalet take out for lunch and later enjoyed a delicious steak dinner at my parents with my brother and his family. My mother's day gift was perfect.... a week of no meal planning, cooking or shopping, for me to redeem whenever I want. I'm looking forward to it! I also had a lot of friends on my mind yesterday. Friends who have lost their moms in recent and not so recent years. Friends who have lost babies through miscarriage and stillbirths. Friends who are finally expecting after a long time of trying. No doubt yesterday was a day of many emotions. But the overwhelming one for me was gratitude for the privilege it is to be a mom.

**No pictures recently as the boys broke my camera. I know, don't let your toddlers play with your camera. Lesson learned! **

The Saga of My Toe

Sometime around mid-March, I was in a rush to get out the door and ended up kicking the side of the stairs really hard. It hurt but no big deal. A few days later it started swelling up to the point of concern. A call to Telehealth confirmed my life wasn't in danger but I should probably go get it checked out. That led to a round of antibiotics to control infection and the orders to soak it with epsom salts four times a day. Who has time to soak their foot four times a day, especially with toddlers who would just think the water was a blast to play with. On my last day of antibiotics I broke out in a rash all over my body. I had also eaten blue cheese for the first time (I know, early 30's and never eaten blue cheese...call me crazy but moldy cheese doesn't appeal to me. But not to worry Wayne, I loved your salad and didn't even know I was eating it)  so we're not sure which of the two I'm allergic to. Allergy testing in July and November will let me know. It was getting to the point where the pain at night was keeping me up. Not fun.

With no improvement I went back to see the nurse practioner who is lovely but I was slightly concerned when her attempt to diagnose involved Google images and some photos I wish I had never seen. She told me to keep soaking it and gave me some anti-fungal cream. Several weeks later, no improvement so I went back to see her again. This time she threw around words like "gout" (yikes!), gave me a round of anti-inflammatories and sent me on my way. Taking those was the first time I saw some improvement but it was short-lived and in the last week it got worse. Time to go back and see my doctor. She was clearly concerned about why it wasn't improving, called in another doctor (who I went to high-school with) for her opinion and threw around a few more words I didn't like. Yesterday involved blood-work and an x-ray plus another round of antibiotics in hopes of getting to the bottom of this. I go back next week where it's possible she will drain it. I don't know exactly what that involves but it doesn't sound like a good time.

So here I am with a toe that's getting worse and no diagnosis. Four appointments, four rounds of drugs, two tests and countless hours with my foot in a bucket. And last night as I was applying my required heat, I'm pretty sure I burned it. Dumb, I know. Sandal season is upon us and sadly I have yet to participate. The number one thing I was looking forward to about our new gym was swimming laps which I've done all of once. I've taken the boys swimming once and had to recruit family members to help the other times while I watched from the deck. Whatever is going on, I've decided to be kind enough not to share it with the public, to the best of my ability. So that is my toe saga (I didn't know it was possible to write three paragraphs about a toe...if you've gotten this far, I'm impressed!) Is it annoying? Yes. Has it taken up a lot of my time? Yes. Is it painful? Yes. But all in all it's just a toe and I will live. I actually find it humorous that something so small can be such a pain and thankfully I've been able to do most things as usual. You can bet that when this is finally dealt with I will be celebrating with a pedicure. Hopefully sooner than later!