Tuesday, July 24, 2012

I'm Sorry

Those are hard words for me to say sometimes. We've been teaching the boys that after a time out they need to say sorry to us, or apologize to each other for fighting or hitting but today it was my turn. After a morning at my parents we were a little late getting home for a lunch. Getting the boys from the van, inside has been a struggle lately and usually results in me picking up a struggling toddler and shutting the door.  After I won the battle somehow I needed to make a quick lunch with two needy, whining, tired boys on my hands. No easy task. I lost my cool. I was frustrated and I let my anger out on them. So, while sitting on the bed reading stories before nap I knew I needed to apologize. I explained how I was feeling and with tears in my eyes, I told them I was sorry. Yes, I know that they are two, but I think they understand a lot and it was the right thing to do. I don't think they quite got it as they started apologizing to me. I tried to tell them it was mommy who was apologizing to them, but after some hugs and kisses it didn't quite matter anymore. Grace was given.

I have vivid memories of my mom apologizing to me growing up and it's a powerful picture in my mind. I'm their mom. I'm in charge. But today I was wrong and they needed to know. It was a humbling moment. I mess up a lot as a mom. Sometimes I have no sweet clue what I'm doing and I get it wrong. Sometimes I'm selfish and impatient. I'm thankful that they don't hold it against me. I want to be a family that is quick to apologize and quick to forgive. We're working on it!

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