We are not co-sleepers. My boys have slept in their cribs from the first night they got home from the hospital...largely in part because there are two of them and also I'm a light sleeper. I could easily hear them down the hall. We never even used a monitor. I don't care if other people co-sleep with their kids. We all parent differently and do what works for us, but it's just not our thing. I'm glad to say goodnight to my boys and then see them twelve hours later. The break is good, for all of us. But I have to say that I absolutely loved having that unique time with Micah. He was so happy and just seemed like whatever fears he had, immediately subsided with his two parents beside him. Sometimes you have to break the rules just a bit. The paranoid person that I am was afraid that we had started a new habit but all nights since have been great. Shocking that one night didn't undo the previous six hundred, I know!! My bed is generally reserved for one man, but the occasional snuggle with one of my other favourite little guys is pretty special too.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Sleepover
On Friday night, Micah had his first sleepover with Mommy and Daddy. He went to bed fine but woke up around 11:30pm crying. It seemed as though he was scared of something. He would eventually calm but putting him back to bed wasn't working. My boys have never transitioned well. I hear of people's kids falling asleep in the car and them just carrying them up to bed. Doesn't happen here. I would sit with Micah, he'd fall back asleep on me in the chair and then he'd lose it when I tried to put him back in his crib. After moments like these it's normal for them to cry for a few minutes but usually it isn't long before they're back to sleep. We tried letting him cry but it was obvious something wasn't right and he just needed us. After both us attempting to get him back we brought him into our room, where he snuggled between our pillows and easily fell asleep for the rest of the night.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Live Simply Part 4 - Where We Live
Something I spend probably far too much time thinking about is where we live. Joel and I are smack in the middle of the suburbs. We grew up here and have chosen to remain here for several reasons... our community is here, we’re close to family, we both have about 20 minute commutes and well, we like it. I know it’s not as cool as being a downtown hardcore and while a small part of me is drawn to that way of life, it’s not for us right now.
As a follower of Jesus I believe that we are called to live simply, largely to free us up to help those around us who are less fortunate (I may have mentioned this once or twice before ;). One of the ways I think we can do that is in where we chose to live. (I will make a disclaimer up front... I know this whole discussion is very relative and compared to most of the world we are all living lavishly.) When Joel and I decided we were ready and able to buy a house, we had limited options. Knowing I might want to stay home with any future children we planned ahead and decided to only live off of Joel’s income. That significantly reduced our choices. After looking at a few places we found our current home...around 1200 square feet of townhouse. It was more than enough room for the two of us and a perfect place to start a family.
It’s not cheap to move but we decided that we’d stay in that house for 5 years or until 3 kids (not knowing we’d have 2 at once!). No, there is no third child to speak of but we will be approaching 5 years as 2012 comes to an end But over the past year or two we’ve started to challenge ourselves in our way of thinking. Why would we need to move? Well, largely because that’s what people do right? We start small with what they can manage and as time goes on, we upgrade to bigger and better! That’s just the norm in our culture. But it doesn’t have to be. We don’t have to live at the edge of our means just because we can. We are not entitled to more. That’s a lie our culture tells us and I confess I’ve bought into it.
The truth is, our home is perfectly adequate. But I often feel self-conscious. I know it’s largely in part because I live where I do, with most friends having much larger homes than we do. Don’t get me wrong...there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with a bigger home. Many people constantly have their homes open to others and host things that we never could. But when you walk in our front door, it becomes instantly apparent that our house is not large at least by the standards of those around us. I would like to, and am starting to get to the point where I don’t care. And I don’t think that people coming into my home think about that stuff nearly as much as I imagine they do and if they do, well that’s their issue.. I know if you live in a condo, apartment or basically most places in the world you’d already think I’m crazy for calling my house small.
What are the benefits of a smaller (again, relative!) home? Practically speaking it is less to clean and take care of and we can pay off our mortgage faster. As we have more money we can put it towards other things, hopefully to help others (still working on that one) instead of into our home and making ourselves more “comfortable”. It also builds a sense of community. Although we all need our space....and I am married to the world’s biggest introvert... there are fewer corners to sneak off and isolate ourselves in. There are downsides, like not being able to host huge groups of people although even that I think is a bit of a lie I’ve told myself. I think of my friends in downtown condos who obviously host parties. I think the point is being together and not as much having loads of space. We don’t have much of a backyard. That something I would love for my boys but in the long run, not a huge thing to give up. I would love a big soaker tub (with jets) and an island in my kitchen. I would love a fourth bedroom and games room in the basement. But I also shouldn’t get everything I want.
We have SO far to go in living the simple, generous life that we want, but for now our choice to intentionally live below our means is a step in the right direction. There are many ways I mess up and have so much farther I need to go. I want to live with way less,and not be so addicted to being comfortable. Will we ever move? I’m sure we will. But for now we have no reason and intentionally living below our means is a step in the right direction. And I think ultimately to do this whole “living simply” thing well, you need others to do it with. It will look different for each individual and family but I think we can all make choices that are more focused on serving others, whether we follow Jesus or not. Anyone with me?
As a follower of Jesus I believe that we are called to live simply, largely to free us up to help those around us who are less fortunate (I may have mentioned this once or twice before ;). One of the ways I think we can do that is in where we chose to live. (I will make a disclaimer up front... I know this whole discussion is very relative and compared to most of the world we are all living lavishly.) When Joel and I decided we were ready and able to buy a house, we had limited options. Knowing I might want to stay home with any future children we planned ahead and decided to only live off of Joel’s income. That significantly reduced our choices. After looking at a few places we found our current home...around 1200 square feet of townhouse. It was more than enough room for the two of us and a perfect place to start a family.
It’s not cheap to move but we decided that we’d stay in that house for 5 years or until 3 kids (not knowing we’d have 2 at once!). No, there is no third child to speak of but we will be approaching 5 years as 2012 comes to an end But over the past year or two we’ve started to challenge ourselves in our way of thinking. Why would we need to move? Well, largely because that’s what people do right? We start small with what they can manage and as time goes on, we upgrade to bigger and better! That’s just the norm in our culture. But it doesn’t have to be. We don’t have to live at the edge of our means just because we can. We are not entitled to more. That’s a lie our culture tells us and I confess I’ve bought into it.
The truth is, our home is perfectly adequate. But I often feel self-conscious. I know it’s largely in part because I live where I do, with most friends having much larger homes than we do. Don’t get me wrong...there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with a bigger home. Many people constantly have their homes open to others and host things that we never could. But when you walk in our front door, it becomes instantly apparent that our house is not large at least by the standards of those around us. I would like to, and am starting to get to the point where I don’t care. And I don’t think that people coming into my home think about that stuff nearly as much as I imagine they do and if they do, well that’s their issue.. I know if you live in a condo, apartment or basically most places in the world you’d already think I’m crazy for calling my house small.
What are the benefits of a smaller (again, relative!) home? Practically speaking it is less to clean and take care of and we can pay off our mortgage faster. As we have more money we can put it towards other things, hopefully to help others (still working on that one) instead of into our home and making ourselves more “comfortable”. It also builds a sense of community. Although we all need our space....and I am married to the world’s biggest introvert... there are fewer corners to sneak off and isolate ourselves in. There are downsides, like not being able to host huge groups of people although even that I think is a bit of a lie I’ve told myself. I think of my friends in downtown condos who obviously host parties. I think the point is being together and not as much having loads of space. We don’t have much of a backyard. That something I would love for my boys but in the long run, not a huge thing to give up. I would love a big soaker tub (with jets) and an island in my kitchen. I would love a fourth bedroom and games room in the basement. But I also shouldn’t get everything I want.
We have SO far to go in living the simple, generous life that we want, but for now our choice to intentionally live below our means is a step in the right direction. There are many ways I mess up and have so much farther I need to go. I want to live with way less,and not be so addicted to being comfortable. Will we ever move? I’m sure we will. But for now we have no reason and intentionally living below our means is a step in the right direction. And I think ultimately to do this whole “living simply” thing well, you need others to do it with. It will look different for each individual and family but I think we can all make choices that are more focused on serving others, whether we follow Jesus or not. Anyone with me?
Friday, February 3, 2012
Putting My Teaching Hat Back On
Starting early next week I am embarking on a new adventure, albeit a short one. I'm going to be working full time for two and a half weeks at my school, teaching special education. A good friend is going on maternity leave later in the month and is taking some days off before that. She had originally asked me to cover for her and although I was intrigued I turned her down. My limit was teaching two days a week and more recently it's generally been just one. Then she informed me that my principal was asking if I could do it. I don't know her well since I've never actually worked for her (lots of turnover in administration) but she is the one who decides whether or not I can stay at my school part time and it would be helpful to be in her good books. So after some thought and conversations I've decided to do it.
The woman who watches the boys is happy to take them and I'm grateful for her flexibility. She has been a huge blessing for us... we love her values, energy, teaching/discipline style and ultimately her love for our boys. Knowing they are in such good care makes it a lot easier. I know they'll have fun and will learn a thing or two. She has assured me they will be fine...it's more me she's worried about!
I have missed teaching. I'm thankful to have a job that I love, that is not all-consuming and great colleagues to work with. I'm excited to get back for a short time and be a positive influence in a few kids' lives. Part of me wants to work more, but I believe the best for our family is for me to primarily stay home. There is no substitute for time. I feel okay about these few weeks because it is short and I'm hoping will solidify my decision. The extra money and building bridges doesn't hurt either. But I know I will miss my boys. I know by the end I will want to be done and question my decision. I've warned my husband that I will probably be a bit more weepy. Look out! That probably sounds a little dramatic for those of you with kids who work full time outside the home, but this is new territory for me. Any tips from the experts out there?
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