*I wrote this entry at the end of May but never posted it for fear of sounding a little too self-absorbed. But it is one of my current life issues, and hey, it's my blog, so here you go. Update coming soon!*
I had a sad moment the other day. It was finally a warm day so I brought up all my summer clothes from the basement, ready to exchange them for my winter sweaters. I opened up my Grandma's old carpeted suitcase where I store them (it's pretty cool!), and pulled out the first pair of capris. They didn't fit. Then I tried on a pair of shorts. They didn't fit either. It's been two years since I wore any of them, at least the bottoms. Last summer I was recovering from a twin pregnancy and stuck to my comfy, maternity clothes or stretchy workout wear.
I had done pretty well at losing most of my pregnancy weight with little effort, which I contribute solely to breast feeding. I had a few pounds to go but had heard it was good for milk making to keep a few extra around so I wasn't worried. And then I weaned and the scale went up. I'm not really sure what happened. Definitely part of it has to do with not needing as many calories as I dropped feeds and not changing my eating habits along with it. I'm wondering too if there are some funky hormonal changes going on in my body too that are contributing to it. Who knows. What I do know is that aside from when I was carrying around two other human beings, the scale has never been higher. For someone who has weighed pretty much the same, give or take a few pounds, since high school, it is slightly traumatic.
I wish I didn't care so much. I know it sounds completely self-absorbed (and probably is), but it's the current battle I'm facing. Birthing babies has inevitably changed my body, and I can accept that, but I actually think it's okay to try and put some effort in to get rid of these few extra pounds. It's not a lot and numbers aren't that important but I'm ready to go. It's not very complicated... exercise and healthy eating. I don't believe in diets. They don't work unless you're willing to stick to them for the rest of your life, and who is? It means figuring out a lifestyle that will work for me. I used to have two breakfasts and two lunches. Two of those can go. I don't really need a snack before bed either. I still plan to eat ice cream, chocolate and other treats, but I just don't need them every day. Moderation! But my big change will be exercise. I've always been a moderately active person, and I've been working out fairly consistently post-babies. But I've been taking it fairly easy. I need to bump up my intensity and get a good sweat going. I've been craving it. I have no deadline. I think slow and steady is best. In the mean time, I'll wear my stretchy pants