Thursday, August 18, 2011

Worn Out & Unmotivated

Sorry, I know that's a depressing title, but that's how I'm feeling today. I'm currently worn out from motherhood. Although my boys aren't walking yet, they are into everything. I love that they are curious little creatures and constantly discovering new things, but it is tiring. They can now open every single cupboard in my kitchen, they love to pull out the heating duct covers (who knows what treasures I will find down there) and they often throw food from their high chairs. I know it's all just a phase and "this too shall pass" is constantly running through my head, but in the middle of it, it's a bit overwhelming. I'm of the camp that believes you can teach and train kids certain things, even at a young age, while being realistic about where they are at developmentally. My challenge is, being a rookie at this whole mom thing and only taking one course in child psychology which I've long since forgotten, I don't always know what's developmentally appropriate. For example, I've chosen not to put child locks on all my cupboards. My goal is to teach my boys that they are out of bounds. They have two drawers they can go into and I'm thinking of adding one cupboard, but the others aren't for them. Cleaning supplies and other harmful substances have been moved to top shelves, but of course they are still fascinated by a cupboard full of pots, or lifting the lid on the compost bin. I am constantly redirecting them and when I'm pulling one away, the other sees that as a perfect opportunity to go for it. Smart little guys! I know lots of people who didn't do child locks so I know it can be done. It just takes a lot of time and effort. And it's tiring me out!! It's the path I've chosen with lots of trial and error and adjusting along the way, but I really hope to see a pay off soon. And I totally get why people do a ton of babyproofing. No judging here!

On the unmotivated side, I've been having a few weeks of laziness. I realize I take care of twins and that IS enough, but I have other things I want to accomplish. I think we generally do a good job of keeping our house in order. Dishes get washed three times a day (not the permanent norm, but I'm washing trays and bibs anyways), we go to bed with a clean kitchen and tidy house, I keep up with the laundry. But it's those little, or not so little things like scrubbing the shoe mat after a winter of sludge, cleaning out the fridge (can someone please explain to me how so much crap gets under the crisper drawers??), organizing recipes I've pulled from magazines, or just purging all the stuff that doesn't get used. My boys still nap twice a day so I DO have time to work on some of it, but lately I have no motivation to do any of it. I waste time surfing the internet or other mindless things. I don't really feel guilty about it. That's not the problem. My value doesn't come from how many things I can check off a list each day and I think it's good to have down time. The issue is that I really want to get organized and press the res-set button on our house. But obviously my actions prove that I want to rest more. Oh well. Eventually I'll get my butt in gear.

How do you motivate yourself to do things when you just don't feel like it?


Judah Oudshoorn said...

Hey Julianne,

Thanks for your authenticity! Being a parent is a huge, overwhelming and tiring job. I think you're great at it! And, I admire you for the constant effort you put into it.


Angela said...

Oh Julianne, you are definitely not alone and I think you do an amazing job with two little ones to keep up with. More days than not I feel lazy and unmotivated, and I don't always go to bed with a clean kitchen and everything checked off my to do list. Don't put so much pressure on yourself, we all deserve a break and right now I take as many as I can get! The housework is always going to be there....I try to get caught up on weekends or when I have some help, but definitely not during every nap. At the same time I do admire your discipline, I think there has to be a healthy balance. we all deserve a little 'me' time! Hang in there!

Tish said...

Obviously we're on the same page at this time regarding motivation. Some days are great and some not so much. Giving ourselves a mental break by surfing the web is greatly needed when dealing with the constant demands of little one! We didn't do a tonne of baby proofing either and that stage from 9 months to about 14 months was absolutely exhausting with one. I can't imagine two! now our 2nd little one is head into that stage plus we have all the big kid toys (eg beads) that she can't have. Double teaching. One learning to keep his stuff away from baby and one learning what she can and can't have. Good times all around. Parenting is tiring, but wonderful.