My Love-Hate Relationship With Facebook...

...and the general online world. I've now been on Facebook for more than four years. I first discovered it while living in Zimbabwe, of all places. On a frequent trip to town where our internet connection was a billion times faster than in the bush (but still dial up!) I received an invite from a friend and was able to connect, thus resulting in many an hour spent in the guest house lounge, reconnecting with friends. Living on the other side of the world in moderate isolation, this was very welcome. When I got back to the world of high-speed connections, it took off. It was so much fun finding old friends. My best friend in grade 4 moved to Greece and after a few exchanged letters we lost touch, never to be heard from again. Over the years I tried to find her (yes, even paid for a Classmates.com membership in my attempts), which never happened until I discovered Facebook. Almost everyone I know, even my parents are on it... my husband being one of the few who hasn't given in. (don't do it babe, you'll hate it!)

What do I like about Facebook? I like that as a new mom I've been a little less isolated than I would have been without it. I like asking questions and getting answers from people who have been there, done that, or are at least struggling to figure it out like I am. I like that it's reconnected me with people that have led to many real-life interactions that wouldn't have happened otherwise...friends we get together with more, playdates for the boys, high school friends coming to visit after years and years. I had help at some point of almost everyday in the first few months of my boys' life, often because of my requests sent out to the FB world. I've been able to help out other people who needed it, because their needs were made known. I have watched friends' children grow and shared in the joys and sorrows of life with many. I'm not saying that none of this wouldn't have happened without it, but it has certainly helped.

What I don't like about Facebook? I waste WAY too much time on it. I know WAY more about people's lives than I need to and am far more interested than I care to admit. I don't like that I check it multiple times a day and it's the first thing I run to when the boys are down for a nap, largely because I can sit on my butt and check out of all things requiring any energy. I don't like that it exposes my various levels of self-absorbtion. Why am I really sharing THAT thing... because I want to brag, make myself look better, I feel self-righteous even though I don't want to admit it? I don't like that I sometimes choose to spend time on it, instead of choosing my family, my husband, my real-life friendships, God, my home etc. etc. And it's not just Facebook, it's the internet in general. One search leads to another link, to another, to another and all of the sudden I'm looking up some blog post about the latest drama on the Bachelor Pad. Really? Yes, I admit it's true. Sad.

So I struggle. Something that can be so great and positive that I'm not ready to do away with altogether. But also something that sucks away the time and energy I could be spending on things that really matter. How do you balance it? Set time limits? I have changed the way I use it. First of all, if you're not someone who ever interacts with me on there, you are limited to what you can see. My "friends" who I have zero interaction, can't see photos... it's only for people who care. I try to make my posts less self-absorbed and generally things that are beneficial. I share my needs/wants (I'm a big fan of all things used), ask my mommy questions, and ocassionally yes, I brag about my boys or mention something fairly meaningless or silly just because I want to. I'm okay with that. I like when posts lead to interaction and shared ideas.

I know I'm not alone in this. I know there are others out (almost everyone?) who spends more time in the online world than you probably want to. How do you balance the virtual world with the real world, and if possible make the two intersect? If you struggle like me or have figured it out to some degree I'd love to hear what has worked, or not worked, for you!