I am still alive, just hadn't had the energy or desire to blog much lately. I wouldn't say it's been the easiest month or two but I'm alive and have much to be grateful for. This post won't relate to many of you (feel free to skip it...I won't be offended :), but I wanted to give it the title I did because of one of our current struggles. I know I've done a lot of googling and at the very least I discovered from other twin moms I'm not alone, so perhaps this post will do the same for someone else. I have lots of deeper more important things going on in my brain right now but no mental energy to form them into a somewhat articulate post.
We've been struggling a lot with naps lately. The boys get so worked up and feed off each other, to the point that they were going to town on their room. We had a childproof handle on their door so they couldn't get out. We decided to give them some freedom with a new approach...basically when they got out of bed, we'd talk to them twice, then every time after that we'd say nothing and just put them back to bed, being calm and gentle. Talking with them wasn't working anyway so I thought I'd try the firm and consistent approach.
Well let's just say it hasn't worked...at all! When they started escaping their room they found it hilarious and of course while I was putting one back, the other would make a run for it. I'd be chasing them downstairs, in the corners of closets and in our bed. They thought it was a hilarious game, enjoying every second of it. It has been exhausting. Imagine lifting two thirty pound weights, about three times a minute for well over an hour. Eventually one would calm down but the other would still be going, then the first would get bored just lying there (although clearly needing to sleep) and would be back at it.
A lot of people have said that maybe they just don't need to nap any more. Trust me, they do. They are clearly tired and grumpy after. I have little patience because I've had a massive workout that has done little good and I haven't gotten the break from my kids in the day that I find so important. Even when napping is done, I'm a big believer in quiet time, where they can do something in their room. And I don't believe in kids running the show, so if mommy says it's time to stay in your room, then it's time....keeping in mind that they are two, but now is the time to start establishing that.
I really do believe the technique can actually work for a lot of kids. But I think it's a whole new ball game with twins. Even if I'm not giving them positive attention, they have each other to egg each other on and syphon energy off of. If I didn't have one escaping while dealing with the other, I'm pretty sure I would have seen success right now.
It has been hard not having that time to myself in the middle of the day, not just for the mental break but to get the everyday things of life done. And to be totally honest, I don't like not knowing what to do. So now we have to figure out a new approach. We're thinking of either trying to put them down a little later so they are more tired, putting the childproof handle back on, or just calling it "quiet time" where they can have some books and stuffed animals and will hopefully fall asleep.
If anyone has ANY advice, please send it my way. I know in a few years none of this will matter and I'm sure another phase is around the corner, but this one has been tough. This mommy REALLY wants her nap time back. I think anyone with two toddler boys would say the same! :)