Living Simply.... part one

This is something I've wanted to write about for a LONG time. I feel like I have so much to say and yet have no idea how to articulate it all, so please bear with me and my ramblings. No doubt there will be many posts on this topic. This is not something I've written much about on my blog, but I am a follower of Jesus. Growing up with all things Christian my entire life, it's always been part of me. To make a long story short I have struggled with that label and my whole relationship with God for a good decade at least. I think it began in my university days. I decided to go to a Christian university (whatever a "Christian" anything means) and each year when my eight months were done, I worked at a Christian camp and back and forth I would go with a three month break living in Zambia working at a... you guessed it... Christian school. Basically I became pretty jaded about God, didn't know how to have a relationship with him, didn't really know what difference he made in my life. I knew a lot of the time I was faking it so assumed that many around me must be doing the same. I knew in chapel I was supposed to have this intense look on my face when I was singing, possibly if I was brave to raise my hands when the emotional bridge came along. I knew the Bible studies to join, the prayers to pray, the things to say. But I got tired of it. In some ways I still am quite tired of it and am generally not a huge fan of most things part of the Christian culture. I have struggled, wondering if Jesus was really for me, if I was only part of this only because it's what I grew up with. I have more doubts than I ever have, more questions, more things that annoy me. Sometimes I feel pretty messed up and discouraged on this journey, but in the midst of the mess I know that I really do want to follow Jesus. Much of the other crap associated with Christianity I'm willing to leave behind, but Jesus? Yes, I'll follow Him.

Okay, that was a long preamble. One of the main things I think (let's be honest, I know) that Jesus teaches is about our relationship with money, giving generously to those in need and living simply. For the most part, I think Christ followers in our culture, myself definitely included, could get a big fat FAIL on that one. I struggle with it everyday and yet more and more it's something that's stirring in me, something I desire for myself and my family, my community. It's something I think that anyone who calls themself a follower of Jesus needs to get on board with and start taking seriously. We make a lot of money. We are rich. In fact, we are in the top 1% wealthiest in the world and I'm guessing almost everyone reading this is there or somewhere close. And yet I am greedy, I want more, I want more stuff, a bigger house, more savings. Even with it being top of mind I am constantly failing. Heck, I've lived among some of the world's poorest people. Yes, I'm one of the few that have seen it firsthand and yet I still fall into our culture's trap of wanting more. We give a lot of money away but that is only just a start. I need to intentionally be making decisions about my lifestyle as to whether they will benefit me, or others who are in need. I want to live simply and I want to be part of a community that wants the same. I think it's pretty hard to do on your own. But I'm discouraged with myself and those around me. I really think we've messed up on this one. No happy conclusion and many more thoughts on this one to come, but for now I'll leave you with a blog post from someone who is gets it a lot more than I do. It left me with a lot to think about.